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The Hall of Justice

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(no subject) [Feb. 24th, 2008|06:04 pm]
The Hall of Justice
Bizarre TV phrase of the week:
"Hysterical blackness is brought to you by the U.S. Navy."
--Comedy Central
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SNOW DAY! [Feb. 1st, 2008|07:39 am]
The Hall of Justice
Not that I have Friday classes to begin with, but it probably means I won't be rehearsing my scene or working on my box project today (although I have yet to hear from the other people in my project group, despite the fact that we tentatively said we were going to work on it today and they were supposed to get back to me).

It also means I canceled my weekend plans for a Glen Ellyn trip, so it looks like the type of day where I sequester myself in my room and refuse to emerge except in cases of food and biological needs.

Therefore, look for further updates as the weekend fails to progress.
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(no subject) [Jan. 31st, 2008|07:22 pm]
The Hall of Justice
Twenty minutes after it starts, I remember the Lost season premier is on tonight.

BEN NEEDS TIVO.

Ah well, I'll just watch it on ABC.com later.

LOLWGA

-----------------

I haven't done this in a while.

THE WORLD AS YOU FAIL TO KNOW IT

From the WTF Desk:

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/01/31/mom_of_twins_didnt_know_she_was_pregnant/3263/

When I was little, I used to have this weird fear that my pregnant mom would have her baby without noticing while on the toilet and he'd fall into the bowl. Suddenly, 3-year-old me looks a lot less stupid.

From the No Faith in Humanity Desk:

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Top_News/2008/01/28/woman_hit_by_several_cars_none_stop/5301/

Seriously, people, what the hell?

From the LOLZ Desk:

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/01/31/oregon_teens_bike_sold_while_he_shops/5013/

Note to self: leave little sister unattended at Goodwill.

From the Old People are Fucking Badass Desk:

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/01/31/80-year-old_woman_grabs_attackers_gun/2709/

From the What's Courtney Love Up To These Days? Desk:

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/01/31/80-year-old_woman_grabs_attackers_gun/2709/

From the Lamest Excuses Ever Desk:

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/01/31/man_blames_drug_for_indecent_exposure/1808/

So if I take this drug to get my legs to stay still so I can sleep at night, then I'll be kept up all night by my raging boner telling me to masturbate in front of teenage girls? Getting rid of the jimmy legs is not enough of a reason for me to fall back on the behaviors of my 15-year-old self.

From the Dumbest Criminals Ever Desk:

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/01/30/drunk_driver_calls_police_on_herself/1375/

I wish I was creative enough to make this shit up.


NOW YOU ARE INFORMED CITIZENS!

---------------

And that, in case you were wondering (you weren't), is what I get paid to do all day.
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(no subject) [Jan. 29th, 2008|04:13 pm]
The Hall of Justice
Earlier today, it was pushing 50.

Now it's 11 and the sky is throwing tiny ice bricks at my window.


lolmidwest.
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(no subject) [Dec. 16th, 2007|03:42 am]
The Hall of Justice
It's both hilarious and sad to listen to college kids talk politics when they've had an entire month without Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert telling them what to think.

And I say this as an avid fan of both shows.


Really, it's mostly sad.
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Late Halloween [Nov. 4th, 2007|03:26 am]
The Hall of Justice
So, I went to a Halloween party last week, before which my friend Ben Carter (no relation) had the greatest costume idea of all time.

More like Ben REILLY!Collapse )
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Opening night [Nov. 2nd, 2007|07:57 am]
The Hall of Justice
Henry V opens officially tonight, and I'm not sure how optimistic I am, given last night's preview showing. Everyone (cast, crew and audience alike) seemed to have thought it went a lot better than I did, but there were just far too many hiccups in the show as a whole for me to be really happy with it. But then, I tend to sulk my way off the stage if a show has even one minor goofup, so I'm not sure how much I can trust my opinion. I'll know better when my dad sees it tonight. He won't say so if he doesn't like it, but I can always tell the difference between when he pretends to like a show (i.e. Robin Hood (but in that show's defense, he came on a reeeaaally bad night for it, noise interference was at an all-time pre-cicada high)) and when he actually likes a show.

Preparation for The Move is coming along slowly but surely, I got my housing paperwork in the mail this week (note to self: send that shit in).

Now I will list the things I have so far realized I need (or badly want) FOR NO REASON (are you reading this, Mommy?)
- Mini fridge
- A new laptop (don't get me wrong, I have many fond memories of my Lappy 486 and it is still gorgeously decorated with the adorable kitty stickers Evie gave me when she was 6 (point of reference: she's pushing 13), but there comes a time in a man's life when he needs more than 15 minutes of battery power and a keyboard with a working left shift key).
- Subway gift cards (there's a Subway IN MY DORM BUILDING, how awesome is that shit?)
- A new car (just after typing that, I spent half an hour looking at hybrid cars online... I hate finding ones I really like only to discover on carfax that it's already been sold and the ad was negligently left up)

Those are actually the only things I've thought of, so far. Hey college kids, what do you have that I need?


SEND MONEY.
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Poorly kept secret [Oct. 13th, 2007|01:07 am]
The Hall of Justice
I'm moving to Normal in January.

I will be an ISU student.

GO FIGHTING REDTURDS.




I will not miss Sully.
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(no subject) [Sep. 28th, 2007|02:54 pm]
The Hall of Justice
I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate my dad's new dog.

I have repeatedly considered making him into a large sausage this week while my dad traverses the Great Lakes region on his motorcycle.

He listens less and barks more than Keller.

AND KELLER IS DEAF.

He also has one misshapen red eye that contains the corrupted souls of 1,000 orphans who died of AIDS.

However, it looks like I may be outta here come January (but it's dependent on some things that may not pan out, right now I'd give it a 40 percent chance), and then that horrid beast can bark and not listen to his heart's content.

Force me to put on pants so I can drag you inside because you run the opposite direction when I announce that it's feeding time, will you?! PHEH!
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(no subject) [Sep. 27th, 2007|02:27 pm]
The Hall of Justice
The grocery store was out of my usual scent of high-class Axe body spray. As many of you already know, I use this product because it's cheaper than real cologne and as an out of shape American (also known as an American) I require something scented to prevent me from smelling like a locker room after climbing half a flight of stairs. This I manage to accomplish using the only variety of Axe I've encountered that does not remind me of gasoline.

HOWEVER

Dominick's, being the low-class grocery store that it is, did not have my high-brow product, and thus I purchased a different variety, known as Phoenix, because I thought "HAY, THAT'S ONE OF THE X-MANS! PREFECT!" Unfortunately, I did not think to imagine exactly what a flaming bird would smell like.

However, the question was answered Monday, when I first used this product and was almost immediately asked "Hey, what smells like bug spray?"







In other news, my rants are becoming increasingly mundane.
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